“Do not pity me!  Do not pity yourselves!” 

Her name is Yana.  I met her several years ago during my first visit to her orphanage in Russia.  That was to be her last year there.  She graduated months later from the high school in their small town.  Yana was one of the older children in the orphanage, expected to leave when she reached a maximum age or grade level in school.  We call them the orphan graduates.  They leave the predictability and control of the orphanage for an unknown experience in the city to attend technical school or university, or do something else, or do nothing else, on their own.

When I visited Russia the next year, Yana had been living in a dormitory in the city and attending school.  Because she had worked hard in high school, she had been accepted at the university which afforded her a better education and more opportunities.  I think Yana  hopes to become a veterinarian. 

I was surprised to see Yana this second year.  Apparently she had heard the news that we were coming so she took the bus to the orphanage to see us.  She seemed glad to come home to see her old friends and the staff who cared for her for so many years.  I learned later that Yana was good about staying in touch with her friends and so she had known of our upcoming visit for months.

At the end of our week with the children, we all gathered in a large room at the orphanage to say good-bye and to exchange gifts.  It was springtime in Russia, and so earlier that morning one of the children had given me a branch with blossoms from an apple tree nearby.  I decided to use the apple tree branch as a “talking stick” during our good-bye ceremony.  The blossoms seemed to represent the hope of new life.  Even in the dead of winter we are confident the tree will someday bloom again.  I spoke about this and then passed the branch to the person next to me.  Whoever held the branch was free to talk.       

“Take This Good Thing You Have  And Do Not Waste It” 

It was Yana’s turn to share.  I don’t remember everything she said, but I remember some things, and her tone.  She was confident.  She seemed to speak with authority as one who understood life in the orphanage and life afterward.  She reminded us that she had lived at this orphanage for eleven years.  This had been her home.  The caretakers there had raised her.  She held up the branch and said, ”Do not pity me because I lived in this orphanage.  And do not pity yourselves.  We eat better than our friends at school from the village.  We have better schooling than many children in Russia, with extra help for homework everyday from our caretakers.  We have nothing to be ashamed of.  Do not pity me or yourself because you are an orphan.  Instead, take this good thing you have and do not waste it.”

I am not sure if the other children appreciated her words.  Some did, I suppose.  I was impressed and humbled.  Yana’s wisdom and confidence were a gift from God.  In her words I realized that God’s grace was present at the orphanage, at least for Yana, long before we arrived.  God’s steadfast love for these children was alive and blooming.  I realized (this is a bit embarrassing to admit) that we were not there to “bring Jesus” to the children, but to discover that God was already present in them, loving them.  God had not waited for us to arrive! 

The Incarnation Happened Without Me 

Of course, not many orphan graduates are as confident as Yana.  I suppose even Yana does not always feel so confident.   At least on that morning Yana showed me the dignity of Jesus.  I understood the Matthew parable a bit better, when the sheep asked, “Lord, when did we see you?” (Matthew 25:37-39, NRSV).  Jesus was there, in disguise.  Jesus had been there.  I began to see.  When Jesus held the apple tree branch saying, “Do not pity me,” I knew springtime would always come, with or without me.  After all, the incarnation happened without me, and it still happens without me, sometimes in disguise.  Good thing.

 
© Copyright by Jeffrey Y. Harlow, Ph.D (2009).